For almost 2 WHOLE WEEKS I had a little bit of Pittsburgh (and Philly) come to Taiwan.  Abby, Amanda, and Steve came out for probably our biggest/strangest/most memorable adventure to date. (topping things like kidnapping Abby and throwing her in the car without warning, midnight apple pie runs, and scary-ass road trips through the ghetto).  It’s been said that pictures say a thousand words, and I’m pretty sure this picture sums up the randomness of the trip.  I know I’m going slightly out of order, but this was about midway through the visit when we stopped at what we lovingly termed ‘The Amusing Animal/Golf Cart Museum’.  To answer a few burning questions: 1. yes we are perched on a cow bench in the middle of no-where. 2. No, this was not the only cow bench.  We drove on several cow-bench-lined paths. 3.  Yes I said ‘drove’.  We sped around this ridiculous outdoor museum/park/farm/fun fest in a golf cart. And did donuts and drove on the sidewalk and yelled ‘hello! How are you!’ at passing families.  I think Taiwan is the only place where a lot of people really like when you do that.  Well…not the donut part…but the random English exclamations.  4. Yes, there were also large dinosaur statues in the part of this park-like place called ‘Jurassic Park’.  5.  Yes of course there was a ridiculously large statue of a gorilla, placed strategically in the middle of the path so that when you drive up you have a nice view of his ass.  6. No, we didn’t milk any cows…but I think we could have.

And this was only a small part of the day.  Ok…so a little more background.  We were up in the eastern part of Taiwan, in a city called Hualien (Hwa-lee-en).  Our main purpose of this trip was to see Taroko Gorge–one of the most famous tourist spots in Taiwan.  So the first day was beautiful and perfect for a trip to the gorge.  We had wanted to rent a car, but somehow we ended up renting a car+driver for the day (which turned into 2 days). I have often found that it is really hard to say ‘no’ or argue when you don’t have command of the language, so most of the time I find myself at the mercy of good-intentioned Taiwanese people.  I think the driver worked out for the best though.  He at least knew where he was going, and apparently he was following some popular tour route.  I know these pictures don’t do justice to what we saw, but here is a little glimpse into the gorge:

It was a minimizing experience—we felt unbelievable small while surrounded by huge cliff faces and mountains.

After a full day of awe-inspiring nature, a failed attempt to eat hot pot (we asked for only chicken and pork and we got a pot full of sea creatures and random meat parts…and Steve swears something was still moving), followed by pizza and pi jiu (beer), we were excited for what adventures Chen (the driver) had in store for us the following day.

Which brings us to the most random day by far of our trip.  The weather was crappy, so our plans to go to the beach were scrapped.  But no worries. Chen had several more adventures up his sleeve.  The day started early and by 9:30am we found outselves on a penguin paddle boad, paddling around a lake in the rain.  

Again….we found it really hard to say ‘no’.  He stopped the car and after a few grumble grumbles with the dock man, pointed us to a covered paddle boat and disappeared to smoke one of his many cigs of the day.  Later we found out he struck a deal with dock-man so we could have 2 hours of paddle-boat fun for the price of 1!!  Now whoever can entertain themselves for 2 whole hours on a paddle boat…I applaud you.  We barely made it 45 minutes.  And most of that time we spent floating.  

Alright so stop number 1: paddle boats.  Stop number 2: aforementioned ‘amusing animal/golf cart museum’.  Again Chen just shooed us out of the car and drove away.  Stop number 3: traditional Taiwanese lunch.  For most of the time we were with Chen, he kept offering to take us to ‘mac don laow’ (translation: McDonalds), and every time we declined, not necessarily wanting to fill the American stereotype.  But after the funny farm, we were ready for some somewhat reliable food and more than excited for some fried goodness.  Oh no….Chen had other plans.  He took us to this ‘famous’ restaurant that only had 6 things on the menu: pork (that was pretty unidentifiable), chicken ( it came out cold, on the bone, with layers of skin, fat, ligaments and other fun stuff), boiled cabbage, bamboo, and 2 other things I couldn’t identify in a line-up.  So we opted for the chicken, bamboo (I thought it was a type of noodle from the picture.  whoops), and cabbage (again, the picture looked more like spinach. stupid deceiving picture menu).  

So in conclusion…we helped ourselves to a few bowls of white rice and some pi jiu and called it a meal.  During this entire dining experience, waitresses came up to us and asked to take a picture of us, and then with us.  And as we were leaving, the owner asked us to take a picture in front of the restaurant, so they could hang it up on their wall alongside all of their famous guests.  

And we would be labeled: the first white people to eat at the restaurant.   Nice.  Who knew fame could be so easy?

After lunch we were taken to some abandoned mountain town, that used to be big on logging and woodwork.  That was weird.  And then back home.  Oh, and the entire time we were in the car, we were watching a small tv on the dashboard playing traditional Taiwanese karaoke.  Figures.